….is that they are a magnet for all sorts of enemies and we always have to be one step ahead of the predator.

The hens & their 70 year old hen house

Our first experience of  Mother Nature’s cruelty was when a buzzard flew down and made off with one of the hens. The only evidence was a few  scattered feathers & a hen house full of startled chickens which refused to come out for 3 days.

A makeshift scarecrow and a string of promotional freebie CDs stuck label to label were hastily put up as a temporary deterrent  and have stayed there ever since.

The second was when a fox/ mink /some other nocturnal thief turned up unannounced and sneaked off with our 2 guinea fowl. Now we weren’t exactly planning on them gracing our Christmas table but somehow I can’t help thinking that they would have been better off in our stomachs than his!

Dolce & Gabbana

Our replacement guinea fowl did indeed end up on our table when Amar decided that self-sufficiency was the way to go. I have to say at this point that I only agreed to this as they were fighting with Giorgio the cockerel and one of them had to go. I also should add that neither of us could bring ourselves to do the dirty deed – our neighbour farmer took them away, chuckling to himself at these sentimental townies & brought them back, all plucked and prepared along with a very nice bottle of Pouille Fuisse – not bad, eh?! We now have another 3 guinea fowl which get along nicely with Giorgio & I’m trying hard not to think about a home grown Christmas dinner….( okay, okay , I know we shouldn’t have given them names…)

Anyway, back to the fox…

Giorgio, the bantam cockerel

So we racked our brains to see how we could better protect the hens.

Obviously we’ve still got a lot to learn about country life, but some of the advice from the locals about how to deal with this situation would make your hair curl!

Talking of hair, one of the less offensive suggestions was to fill
stockings with human hair and hang them around the enclosure.

Hmmm, what with the makeshift scarecrow & the CDs for the buzzards
and now hairy tights for the fox …….

Strange as it looks though, we did visit the hairdresser in Salignac
& relieved her of some of her clippings! And we added a double wired fence all around.

So far, so good…

She’s not pregnant, she’s fat.

A slightly slimmer Susie, but getting there!

I hated to disappoint them but the reply did at least raise a few smiles.

So just how did Susie, our gorgeous Pyrenees donkey come to
be this size?  Susie is a Catalan Pyrenees so by nature is quite chunky but the simple answer is greed. She has never been known to refuse anything and obviously took full advantage of our guests’ generosity. This unfortunately was to be her downfall.

Where there's attention, there's Susie!

The first sign that all was not well was when Susie suddenly refused to eat or drink  – 6.30 pm to be precise on the very night when all of our guests were getting together for a big BBQ.  Donkeys are very stoic and by the time they let you know something is wrong they can often be very ill. A quick check on the internet (what did we do before Google?) and we knew we had to call the vet.

To get to the point her stomach had completely shut down, blocked with loads of delicious soft French baguettes, supplied by our well meaning guests. This was a serious bout of colic, potentially fatal in donkeys.

When the vet produced 3 enormous extra long syringes I recoiled in horror. So did Susie.

And then the drama began.

Susie was having none of it & let it be known with an impressive impression of a bucking bronco. With one deft flick of her hooves, the vet was on the ground, legs akimbo & brandishing the 3 syringes in the air. Amar was left there gamely trying to stop 400kgs of donkey from losing the plot completely.

Meanwhile our guests, oblivious to the real reason why Amar wasn’t in front of the BBQ, thankfully just took over & got on with the cooking!

Our guests take over, oblivious to all the drama!

The vet then decided it would be best to carry on the proceedings in the stable. I stayed outside trying to understand why anyone would think it a good idea to shut themselves (& my husband!) in an enclosed space with a frightened,unpredictable animal and it wasn’t long before my fears were confirmed. With one glance at the waiting syringe, Susie knocked the vet straight into the feeding stall – he bravely carried on from that very position with Amar now wedged firmly between the stable wall and Susie’s bulk.

You couldn’t have written this script – if it hadn’t been such a potentially serious situation it would have been downright hilarious!!

The injections somehow miraculously were all administered, including the one which snapped in half mid-syringe and all three emerged from the stable some time later shaken & very well stirred!

The vet’s parting observations were that Susie wasn’t exactly a slim little thing and she really ought to eat less.

Susie, none the worse for her ordeal!

10 days later she was more or less back to her old self.

Much to her disgust she has since been on a well monitored eating plan – guests do still give her the odd carrot & chunk of apple & I cut and thoroughly dry any bread she gets.

I don’t think any of us want to go through that again!

REALLY dry baguettes for Susie from now on!