Part 1

You can do a lot in 4 days. On our recent very last minute visit to Scotland Emma & I managed to notch up…

…2 flights , 8 bus journeys , 5 train journeys , visited all the family ( sadly didn’t have time to fit in friends, that’s for the next time) went to see 2 musicals, went out for  2 lovely lunches ( if you’re ever in Fife try The Muddy Boots or The Pillars of Hercules – both very nice!)  hit the shops & melted the credit card – only just round the edges though as we were travelling light and only had a 10 kg allowance ….if only we’d known they wouldn’t weigh the cases….

Pillars of Hercules - organic farm shop & café in Falkland, Fife

A lot can also happen in 4 days.  In our absence Giorgio the cockerel, not having me to focus on, turned his attentions to Amar & Alistair, both of whom were on the receiving end of his pent up emotions – all that chicken testosterone vented in much flapping of wings and several perfectly placed attacks with his short sharp beak.

Giorgio will now be moving on to pastures new. We got him from Brive but the hen producer at Terrasson Thursday market has agreed to swap him for a bird with hopefully less aggressive genes. Probably best all round.

Cacharel the one eyed Gingernut ranger

We will also have to get a few more hens while we’re there to replace Cacharel, our friendly one eyed Gingernut Ranger & Prada ,one of our guinea fowl (or it could well be Dolce or Gabbana as they all look the same). They were both taken by a fox 2 nights ago when Alistair & Amar forgot to lock up the hen house – not their fault as this is normally my domain & obviously not at the forefront of their minds, especially when Marseilles are playing Barcelona.

Lempicka , a Miss Pepperpot

Part 2

All of the above was written on the plane on the way home & the unfortunate events don’t stop there. The weasel ( for we have now established that it must have been a weasel & not a fox ) came back & in spite of Amar having secured all the hen house, it managed to wriggle in through a gap in the wired window and killed Lolita, Lempicka our 2 docile Miss Pepperpots and Giorgio, the feisty cockerel. Even though he gave me a hard time I was particularly upset that this proud & magnificent bird should end his days like that.

Proud and feisty Giorgio

The henhouse , now almost empty with only the two guinea fowl, Dolce & Gabbana and Nina the white Sussex left, was covered in electric wiring and so far this has kept the thief at bay.We went to the market yesterday and got two more guinea fowl ( Candy & Prada ) & two new hens , a Miss Pepperpot and a Gingernut Ranger just like Lolita & Cacharel. We may just have to give them the same names  – Emma has a theme going there !!

Choosing a Miss Pepperpot at Terrasson market

Monsieur Lacoste ( yes, really, the hen producer’s name also fits nicely into Emma’s theme- how convenient!! ) had also brought the exchange cockerel for us. Not a bantam though , this one was HUGE & I have to admit I was apprehensive even just looking at it. Having had a day or two of being able to go back into the hen pen without the added protection of a big stick & bin lid to ward off any attacks, I was very reluctant to throw an even bigger potential into the equation. M.L. understood and was happy to take him home again.

I know I will miss the homely & rustic cock-a-doodle-doos and the prospect of hatching cute little chicks but it’s a small price to pay to feel at ease again!

I remember the time when it was fashionable if not de rigeur to slip the odd French word into our conversations -made us look chic and gave us that certain je ne sais quoi which was so desirable back then.

Not so for the French – their language was sacred and would never be compromised. Well, changed days, monsieur.

The Daily Mail once published an article about the French culture minister trying to stop English ( & not so English!) words from invading the French language. It obviously didn’t work.

Since moving to France 6 years ago we have heard more & more English words & phrases creeping into the French vocabulary.

Some which have been around for a while or are fairly obvious such as cool, weekend, parking, too much, wi-fi (although this is pronounced wee-fee), hard discount ( and this is pronounced ‘ard deescoont otherwise no one knows what you’re talking about) etc need no explanation.

Don't look so worried, dear - eet ees a feenger in ze nose!! Ne t'inquiete pas ma cherie, it is a finger in the nose!

Others need a bit more thought:

“Je suis carpet ( pronounced car-pet)” = I’m exhausted- literally flat out like a carpet on the floor.

“Je suis over booké” – I’ve taken on too much/got too much to do- overbooked as in hotel reservations

The latest addition , at least around here , is…wait for it…..” It is a finger in the nose”. For full effect this has to be pronounced Eet eeze a feenger een ze noze. General meaning = It’s easy. No prizes for guessing how they came up with that one!! And if anyone has ever actually used that phrase please do let me know!!

Plume de ma tante! – as Del Boy would say!